You sit across from your spouse at dinner, but the silence feels heavier than any conversation you’ve had in months. Your children ask why you’ve stopped attending their soccer games. Family gatherings that once brought joy now trigger anxiety. These changes didn’t happen overnight, but they’ve become impossible to ignore.
Military sexual trauma (MST) creates ripples that extend far beyond the Veteran who experienced it. The psychological and emotional effects often strain the very relationships that should provide comfort and support. At the Law Office of Sean Kendall, our Veterans benefits attorneys have witnessed how MST impacts not just the service member, but also their entire family. When you contact our office, we’ll help you understand these effects and access appropriate resources to help restore family bonds while securing the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) benefits you’ve earned.
How Do MST Symptoms Manifest in Family Settings?
MST-related post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) symptoms can create challenges within the family environment. Understanding them can help families recognize what is happening and seek appropriate support.
Emotional Numbing
This prevents many MST survivors from fully participating in family life. They may seem detached during important moments, such as birthdays or holidays, which family members may interpret as disinterest.
Anger and Irritability
Minor frustrations that once seemed manageable can provoke disproportionate reactions. Family members walking on eggshells to avoid triggering outbursts creates an unhealthy dynamic that affects everyone’s well-being.
Sleep Disturbances
Nightmares, insomnia, and restless sleep disrupt partners who share a bed. The resulting fatigue affects the Veteran’s ability to engage positively with family during waking hours.
Avoidance Behaviors
These can lead Veterans to skip family gatherings, social events, or activities that might trigger traumatic memories. While these behaviors serve as a protective function for the Veteran, they frequently leave family members feeling abandoned.
Depression
This manifests as withdrawal from family activities and responsibilities. Veterans may struggle to maintain their roles as parents, partners, or caregivers. The shift in family dynamics can create resentment or confusion among other family members.
Substance Misuse
Sometimes developing as a coping mechanism, substance and alcohol use introduces additional stress and potential conflict into family relationships.
Hyperarousal Symptoms
These reactions make it difficult for Veterans to relax in family settings, causing them to startle easily, appear constantly on edge, or have difficulty concentrating during conversations.
What’s the Impact of MST on Spousal Relationships and Marriage?
Every romantic partnership has different dynamics. Unfortunately, people struggle to understand the changes in their loved ones while managing their own emotional responses. This causes a cascade of problems.
- Sexual intimacy often becomes strained. MST survivors may avoid contact or experience flashbacks, while partners feel confused or rejected.
- Communication breaks down. Veterans may withhold their experiences, leaving partners to make harmful assumptions.
- Emotional support may feel one-sided. Spouses often neglect their own needs while managing their partner’s distress.
- Trust issues may linger. Veterans may become jealous or withdrawn, creating new barriers to connection.
- Financial stress adds pressure. Employment challenges associated with MST symptoms can lead to income loss and conflict.
- Spouses may develop secondary trauma. Supporting a partner with MST frequently causes anxiety, depression, or burnout.
How Does MST Affect Parent-Child Relationships?
Military sexual trauma can significantly alter how Veterans interact with their children. These changes occur across all developmental stages and can have lasting impacts on children's well-being. Young kids may struggle to understand why their parent seems disinterested or distracted, a perceived rejection that can affect their sense of security and self-worth. Teenagers often interpret parental withdrawal as punishment or disapproval.
Veterans might also become overprotective of their family members as a response to their own trauma, a hypervigilance that restricts children’s normal development and independence. Conversely, some Veterans become emotionally unavailable, leaving kids without needed guidance and support.
What Resources Are Available for Family Therapy and Support?
Accessing trauma-informed resources helps people heal together while addressing the individual impact of MST on each family member. Many Veterans and their families benefit from:
- VA Caregiver Support Program
- Family therapy services
- Couples counseling
- Parenting support groups
- MST survivor support groups
- Children’s counseling
- Support groups for partners and children of MST survivors
How Sean Kendall, Attorney at Law, Pursues VA Benefits for MST-Related Family Issues
Veterans experiencing relationship difficulties related to MST may qualify for VA benefits that can provide crucial support.
- Disability compensation might reflect family impact. Veterans should document how MST-related PTSD symptoms disrupt relationships to support their claims.
- Total Disability Individual Unemployability (TDIU) offers benefits. Veterans unable to work due to service-connected conditions may receive TDIU compensation at the 100% rate.
- Dependent benefits support families. Additional monthly compensation is available for qualifying spouses, children, or other dependents.
- Vocational rehab supports job readiness. Services help MST survivors build employment skills tailored to their needs and limitations.
- VA mental health care includes family support. Treatment may involve couples or family therapy, recognizing that healing involves the entire household.
Understanding which benefits your family qualifies for requires knowledge of the VA system and how to present evidence effectively. At the Law Office of Sean Kendall, we help families access the full range of support available through the VA while protecting the legal rights of MST survivors.
